From Chapter One

          "If it is to be, it's up to me." What a great quote! It really covers everything, for we are ultimately responsible for our own well-being -- mental and physical. Regardless of how inept we might feel at times, we are directly in control of how we handle the various challenges that come our way.  As we look at stress and joy in this book, "it's up to me" will be a constant theme. 

          For many of us, the greatest challenge we face each day is how high our stress level will be. Will traffic problems start our day and take us to the breaking point before 9 a.m.? Will our already stressful workload or workplace conditions send our blood pressure soaring? Do we reach our breaking point when interacting with our spouse or children or other situations in our homes?

           Through almost daily articles, new reports tell us stress is directly responsible for many of today's medical conditions. Stress affects the basics, such as our blood pressure, weight and sleep, but it also affects our total being.

           More than just an emotional strain, stress affects us physically. People faced with constant stress can experience such visible signs as extreme hair loss and various outbreaks (hives, rashes, etc.), but stress can also affect us internally. Ulcers, colitis, and other ailments are common examples, but the effects of stress are now known to run much deeper.

Anne's Story

            "Anne" found herself suddenly disabled by a severe pain and swelling in her left leg. Walking was difficult, and she spent many hours on the sofa with ice packs on her elevated leg. Since there was no apparent injury, doctors were mystified and refused to drain the fluid from her knee because "there was damage and the fluid would simply return." The diagnosis she received was probable rheumatoid arthritis with a suggestion for extensive additional testing.

            The pain and swelling began the day after her father suddenly passed away. She traveled out of town to make arrangements and was surprised when her leg became painful and swollen. Assuming she had somehow twisted her knee or pulled a muscle, she limped through the funeral, initial phase of filing the Will, and preparing the house for sale.

            Two months later, with her leg still swollen and her knee in pain, she again traveled to meet with attorneys to finalize the sale of the house. On her way home, she met with a trusted chiropractor friend about her leg. Convinced he would identify the problem, Anne was even more puzzled when he found nothing wrong.

            A short time later, the pain and swelling disappeared as suddenly as it had come. It would take another highly stressful event months later, when the leg pain and swelling recurred, before Anne realized the problem was caused totally by stress.

            With the second occurrence, Anne took immediate action to relieve her stress level through prayer (to find the support, peace and joy she was missing), exercise and, in this example, confrontation and resolution with the person who was responsible for the stress attack. The pain and swelling quickly disappeared. Her actions were a great example of if it is to be, it's up to me. 

The Search for Joy

           Anne's story is far from unusual. While doctors know stress is damaging, traditional medicine is still trying to treat symptoms rather than looking for the cause of the problem. A doctor might prescribe antidepressants for stress, and the pills might help. However, if the stress is due to an ongoing situation in your life, pills are not going to resolve the problem that is causing the stress.

            The search for joy, for happiness, for a stress-free environment, is a hot topic these days. It is rather sad, in this time of technological wonders, that one of our basic needs can seem so elusive. Even our founding fathers, as they struggled to create our Declaration of Independence, knew the "pursuit of happiness" was of primary importance.

           When we are stress free, we have joy. We feel better. We feel healthier, smarter. There is a bounce in our step. Our shoulders are back and our heads are held a little higher. We greet challenges with confidence.

           That is where we want to be and where we need to be. Happy people have fewer health problems because their days are not filled with stress and worry. And they generally have fewer relationship problems. Why? Because happy people attract more joy into their lives!

When Something Steals Our Joy

           Have you ever heard that true happiness comes from within? That we are responsible for our state of happiness?

           Basically, yes, we are responsible for our state of happiness; however, sometimes it is not as simple as choosing joy or sadness. Often, there are gray areas that directly affect our ability to experience joy. For example, you might have been happier before your health failed, before the car wreck that left you disabled, before your spouse died, before your job was eliminated - certainly stressful situations. Or perhaps stress overcame your joy through arguments with your spouse or best friend, problems with your children, financial problems, or any number of other joy-stealers.

           For many of us, every day is not going to be a perfect day. When stressful times occur, we must realize:

• Everyone has challenges; we are not in this alone.
• We must be kind to ourselves, just as we are kind to others.
• Everyone has to throw a pity party at some point, just don't stay at the party.